lindajohntherapy

When Christmas Feels Overwhelming: How Counselling Can Help You Move Forward

Sun, 04 Jan 2026 10:47:45 GMT

When the “Most Wonderful Time” Feels Anything But

For many people, 2025 has been a difficult and challenging year. Life has felt heavier and at times all-consuming. As the year draws to a close, Christmas arrives with its customary promises of joy, togetherness, and celebration, yet for so many, the festive season fails to meet these expectations and exacerbates feelings of despair.

Christmas often comes with a great deal of pressure. The hype can begin as early as October, bringing with it an anticipation of happiness, generosity, and perfection. There is pressure to create the “perfect” day, to buy the right presents, prepare the right food, and make everything look effortless — even when finances are stretched and your get up and go has got up and gone . For many families, finding additional money for food and presents can cause a lot of stress and anxiety.

In addition, when relatives come together, old memories can resurface. Unspoken tensions, unresolved disputes, and past hurts can quietly (or loudly) come to the forefront. Patterns that we hoped we had outgrown may reappear, leaving us feeling frustrated, sad, or emotionally depleted.

Christmas is not always the most wonderful time of the year.

It’s at this time of year that people realise how much they want things to be different.

As we start another new year, many people feel an overwhelming desire for change. A wanting to let go of what no longer serves them and to move forward with more positivity, clarity, and emotional regulation.

Counselling can be a great place to start.

Talking therapy offers a safe, confidential space to reflect on the past without dragging it into the present or the future. It can help clients understand long-standing patterns, process difficult emotions, and make meaningful changes that support healthier, more positive relationships.

During counselling sessions, clients are supported to explore their innermost thoughts and feelings at their own pace. A counsellor is a trained professional who is there to listen without judgement, to validate experiences, and to help clients find their own path forward. Therapy is not about being told what to do, it is about learning to be self-aware and to understand who we are.

If 2025 has been a difficult year, and if Christmas has highlighted parts of your life you want to change, you don’t need to feel alone and isolated. Talking therapy can help you move into the new year with a better understanding of who you are and why you feel the way you feel. Therapy will help you to build resilience, and optimism.

If this resonates with you, contact me for an initial consultation on how emotional therapy can help you, and to make an appointment.

My contact details are 07515 834931 and linda--john@hotmail.co.uk

Working with clients who have ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

Tue, 04 Apr 2023 09:28:20 GMT

Most people don’t understand the psychoeducation of this neurological disorder and that it is not a choice. With the support of a counsellor and education, and more often than not helped by medication, the client can actually blossom.

ADHD affects 1 in 45 young people around the world. It is not just a childhood disorder as once believed. It affects 1 in 30 adults and can often go undiagnosed, and this can lead to a number of comorbid conditions:

Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-harm, self-medication, addiction, risky behaviours, suicidal thoughts, ticks.

As well as:

OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)
SRD (sensitivity rejection disorder)
ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)
and other learning difficulties.

A person with ADHD may have difficulty sustaining attention, following through instructions, organise tasks, sitting and fidgeting in their seat or running around.

Counsellors will treat the symptoms, and common symptoms displayed by clients could be; interrupting, talkative, forgetful, impulsive, hyperactive, poor time management, poor working memory and hyper focusing.

The hormone dopamine is thought to be lacking in people with ADHD. Dopamine allows us to regulate emotional responses along with feelings of pleasure and pain, reward, movement, motivation and for paying attention. Dopamine enhances signal conduction in the brain and improves attention, enabling us to stay focused on a task. Medications raise the levels of dopamine in the brain to allow the brain to function normally.

Sometimes a person may need extra support from a counsellor.

Clients can present as very angry and upset, they may have anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, can fall behind, have no friends, self-harm. People with ADHD can become targets of bullies or become bullies themselves. They can also become suicidal.

A good therapeutic relationship with a counsellor can promote a feeling of hope. Counselling sessions can help with coping strategies and counsellors will be aware that forgetting appointments and not paying attention are the symptoms of the disorder.

Visualization/mindfulness can help to calm the mind. Yoga and Pilates promote a greater awareness of what is going on around them and help the clients psychological and mental wellbeing.

Counselling can help to get rid of negative thoughts and reduce the amount of time spent procrastinating. Clients will learn how to manage their symptoms. There are some good role models who have ADHD and are able to hyper focus which can drive them to achieve and be successful in business, entrepreneurs like Richard Branson, Jaimie Oliver and Athletes like Michael Phelps, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan and Jackie Stewart.

Spending time outside with nature and 30 minutes of exercise first thing in the morning can help to regulate the overwhelming feelings/compulsions.

Counselling can bring the inward outward. The counsellor sees the person, not the label. A person with ADHD just wants to be heard and understood.

Mental Health & Sleep

Sat, 11 Feb 2023 13:07:00 GMT

Emotional Therapeutic Counselling can be an effective way to help people improve their mental health and sleep

Sleep is an important part of our physical and mental health. Getting adequate sleep can help to improve mental wellbeing, as it helps to restore energy levels, reduce stress, and provide much needed rest. Unfortunately, many individuals find it difficult to get the necessary amount of sleep, and this can have a negative impact on their mental health.

Emotional Therapeutic Counselling can be an effective way to help people improve their mental health and sleep. Counselling can provide individuals with the space and support to process their thoughts and feelings, identify patterns of behaviour and understand the root cause of their issues. Emotional Therapeutic Counselling can also equip people with the knowledge and skills they need to manage their emotions and cope with difficult situations. Through this, individuals can learn how to better manage their stress, reduce anxiety and improve their sleep.

In addition to providing mental health support, counselling can also help to create a sense of connection and understanding. Feeling connected and understood can help individuals to manage their stress and anxiety, which can help to improve their overall mental health and sleep.

Overall, counselling is an effective way to help individuals improve their mental health and sleep. Emotional Therapeutic Counselling can provide individuals with the space and support to understand and process their thoughts and feelings, equip them with the skills and knowledge to manage their emotions and create a sense of connection and understanding.

Call Linda on 07515834931 or email linda—john@hotmail.co.uk for more information.

Cyberbullying

linda--john@hotmail.co.uk (Linda John) — Fri, 22 Jan 2021 10:34:04 GMT

Whilst the internet has been one of the most useful pieces of modern technology, it has created monsters in its social media platforms by allowing cyberbullying to get out-of-control in the 21 ^st century.

The aim of social networking is to bring people together, to instantly connect with others e.g., instant messaging, email, or text messaging. Although social media is one of the leading methods of communicating, 71% of children are now exposed to the internet, with no protection against the prevention of fake social profiles on things such as Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram. Children make up 53% of mobile phone owners which is an indication of the level of the problem in the young.

In recent years as a direct consequence of cyberbullying, the risk of anxiety, loneliness, and depression has increased. A recent study found that 37% of young people aged between 12–17 year olds have said that they have experienced being bullied online. In extreme situations it has led to suicide, the second leading cause of death for this age group. Ages 12–18 year olds are predisposed to bullying on Tik Tok and Snapchat simply because these are popular for that age group.

It is reported that 41% of children develop social anxiety because of experiencing cyberbullying. Some 30% of children reported that this had happened within the last week when asked this question. Young people fall into the trap of thinking that a large number of contacts is a sign of your popularity.

Cyberbullies will use any method available to them to embarrass and humiliate their victim, by posting embarrassing photos and spreading rumours or making up lies. Why do people cyberbully? The cyberbullies do this because they are cowards, they have low self-esteem and so terrorising their victims makes them feel powerful and in control. They think it is fun and that they are clever!

A common name for this type of behaviour is called ‘Trolling’. This is when someone intentionally attacks another person on the internet. The sole purpose is to upset and hurt this person. As this is all done online it leaves a ‘digital footprint’ where a record can prove that cyberbullying has taken place, this information can help to stop the abuse. It is useful to take screenshots of messages, pictures, record voice messages or videos, which will assist in the investigation of the perpetrators.

To prevent cyberbullying and protect yourself apps., can be deleted or if you prefer, stay offline, have a break and give yourself time to recover. Why should you have to do this? By doing this you are not buying into the unacceptable behaviour, if you shut down their route, they will give up as they are no longer able to ‘get to you’. Most platforms allow you to adjust your privacy settings allowing you to control who can view your profile. This is easily achieved by changing your setting to private. You can also limit who can send you messages and make comments on your posts. Social media also allows you to report anything that is not tolerated. You should only have people who you are familiar with as friends.

If you are getting bullied via a mobile phone you can block the number that is texting. This will stop a message or phone call from the bully coming through to you.

Cyberbullying can ruin lives. It is an invisible enemy, and it destroys every aspect of a person’s mental health by creating fear. Parents need to look for the signs; if their child is becoming withdrawn and nervous, changes in behaviour like making excuses not to go on the school bus or being secretive when on their phone or laptop.

Talking to my own daughter who was bullied, I asked her what advice she would give to someone experiencing this and she said, ‘I would tell them to report it to the teachers because although you feel that it won’t stop and that it will get worse, it doesn’t. The bullies (if known) are dealt with by the school and they are made to stop’. She went on to say how empowering it can be when you rise above it.

Talking to a counsellor can help support someone that is experiencing bullying.

Call Linda John today to hep you with Cyberbullying

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

linda--john@hotmail.co.uk (Linda John) — Wed, 06 Jan 2021 09:47:50 GMT

Earlier this year I started a course, the Foundation for Emotional Therapeutic Counselling at a reputable centre in the idyllic setting of Cheltenham

Earlier this year I started a course, the Foundation for Emotional Therapeutic Counselling at a reputable centre in the idyllic setting of Cheltenham. In July I completed the Foundation level and providing the few required pieces of written work be approved, I'll be onto the more meaty section, the Diploma, which will keep me busy for a further 18 months.

The journey has definitely begun but is far from over. I've been fascinated by the mind and behaviour and have spent many hours reading and researching over the last 5 years in my personal time. The little I had learned was helping people, but it would never be enough without some more serious study, nor would I feel real satisfaction from what I could offer. So, I began looking at courses and although some seemed great, a lot didn't and the few that did never fully convinced me in their teachings. Enter Linda John and the link that brings Shinesmith into the story.

O n a return flight from CPHI in Frankfurt, Linda and I sat next to each other and talked the whole way home. In that time, as well as helping me with some personal problems, she convinced me that the ETC values aligned with mine and I enrolled shortly after. Another mention must go here to fellow Shinesmith and Linda’s sister, Jules, who provides accommodation for me every time I travel up to study. Thank you both greatly. Looking back now those few hours on the plane were pivotal in me finding the confidence to take the plunge, to follow my passion and is a nice example of how talking in the right way with someone can affect big change in your life.

Josh Fox.

For more information on Emotional Therapeutic Counselling visit: www.emotionaltherapeuticcounselling.org

Divorce - The Road to Recovery

Mon, 05 Oct 2020 09:27:45 GMT

Divorce is described as a traumatic experience. The loss of your marriage, home, lifestyle, family unit, extended family and your hopes and dreams for the future, leaves you feeling totally bereft. The end of your marriage needs to be grieved in the same way you would if somebody you loved died.

You despair as to how you are ever going to get through it. How are you going to hold yourself and your children (if any) up? It takes strength to stop the self-destructive thoughts and behaviours, but it is possible. Concentration on your emotional and physical wellbeing is key in helping you to get over your divorce. It is important that you look at yourself as a ‘dear friend’ and show yourself some tenderness. Be compassionate to you and spend time with others who show you compassion and kindness.

Understand that divorce is not supposed to be easy and because it is so hard, you must be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time to work through the depths of your divorce and to accept that the process is going to take time. Over time you will heal and showing compassion to yourself will help with your recovery. It is ok to feel sad and to give yourself permission to grieve your loss. Focusing too much on the sadness will keep you stuck in that place and so it is important that you manage this.

Divorce is one of the most challenging events you will deal with in your life. Building a good support structure around you is vital. Know that it is ‘OK’ to ask for help. It is good to have someone walking with you that is not in your fog. Dwelling on the past serves no positive outcome and so looking back is only going to pull you back. Looking ahead will get you ahead.

Feelings that you have failed are strong. It is essential to learn from your past relationship to promote a good relationship going forward. When you see yourself as a victim you are blocking your personal progression. To gain back your power and control you will need to take responsibility for the factors that contributed to the result of divorce.

Embrace the change, look at your situation and visualise how the new future could look. Remember you are dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety and so finding time to relax and chill, is all part of you taking care of you. Try to maintain a sleep routine, steer clear from caffeine and alcohol as they will over stimulate and prevent sleep.

Divorce erodes confidence and so try to own the good qualities that you possess. Think about the things you like about yourself and remember these great attributes daily. You will have some days when you just want to stay in bed and hide, and when this happens think about what you need to do to get through this divorce to generate enough motivation to get you through another day.

Seeking emotional support from a counsellor will help you to work through what has happened, the why’s and wherefores’ and the reasons why you feel the way you feel. Having a safe space to express yourself without feeling judged will help you to sift and sort through the emotional turmoil, the hurt and the pain and allow you to move on.

Don’t beat yourself up.
Take each day as it comes.
Every day is a day closer to your recovery.

Children the Silent Sufferers of Divorce

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 13:23:11 GMT

Children the silent sufferers of Divorce

When parents split up, the burden on the children is immense and sadly they often blame themselves for the breakup. The absolute worst thing that a parent can do is to bad mouth the other parent to the children. Doing so puts the children in an impossible position and they start to question ‘am I allowed to love them?’. The child feels they are being disloyal for loving the bad parent. Running mum or dad down to a child is a direct criticism of their own DNA as they are the product of both parents.

Children bottle up their feelings, and when asked by mum or dad ‘do you want to talk?’ they say no! On hearing this the adult thinks everything is ok and does not push any harder. This is because the adult does not really want the child to open up and talk, because they don’t think that they can deal with what is said. Children need to talk, and the grown-ups need to listen to help the child to offload just how sad and angry they feel. Often, they just want to hear their mum or dad say, ‘you are right to feel sad and angry’ and to validate their feelings.

If a child does not express how it is for them, they hide the hurt, sadness, anger and confusion, and become numb. We heal through loving connection and always feel better because we have had someone to talk to. Statements like ‘I know it hurts, it’s understandable to feel sad but as a family we can get through this’ let them know that you understand them. Saying ‘talk to me’ is a no-go and children will shut down straight away. They don’t want to hurt their parents by burdening them with their feelings.

When mum and dad are divided the children work harder at trying to please them in the hope that ‘he or she might come back’. They will try and try to please the parent by buying a present or giving those puppy eyes to get what they want, but unfortunately, they cannot fix the problems.

Children should not feel that they are responsible for the parent that has left the family home. Kids want to feel responsible for the divorce because it gives them control, ‘I can make them come back!’. They try their upmost to stay strong for their parents, who make the mistake of being too open and lean on their children for their own sanity.

We can see physical trauma, bruises, broken bones etc, but when the problem is in the mind it limits parents from giving the love that children deserve. One way of helping a child to express how they feel is to ask them to write a letter to their mum or dad telling them how they feel and how their life is being affected. Difficult though this is, it is one way of releasing some of their inner most thoughts and allows them to have a voice. It may not look on the outside that they are feeling any better for speaking their truth, but being able to get it all out can help the parent to connect with the child. Soon enough the sparkle will start to return, and they will learn to laugh again once they have been able to release the burden.

IT IS WRONG NOT TO BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD!

Therapy - during and after divorce.

Tue, 07 Jul 2020 10:30:06 GMT

Therapy - during and after divorce.

Going through divorce can be overwhelming and isolating. Day to day living becomes a struggle, especially if you have children. Coping with your children’s emotions as they face their own issues with the separation of their parents and the challenges of school life adds to the stress and anxiety caused by the divorce. Friends and family can be extremely supportive, and offer advice and someone to talk to, but the problem is they are emotionally invested in you, and therefore not always able to support you in an objective way.

Often outside help is needed in the form of a therapist. Emotional Therapy offers a safe place for you to talk about your inner most thoughts and feelings. When you are stuck in old patterns of behaviour with your soon to be ex, therapy can offer new ways to communicate in a non-confrontational way. Discussing all aspects of the break-up with your partner can be gut wrenching and increasingly painful. Talking to your therapist will allow you to break apart what is happening and make some sense of why you are the way you are.

Coming to terms with divorce is a process of letting go. It is usual to experience feelings of grief when a marriage comes to an end. This can impact on both your mental and physical health and the procedure for healing can be a long and painful road ahead. Your deepest emotions can keep you locked in the hurt, and this is when self-medication e.g. alcohol consumption can come in to play. This is not helpful and does not enable you to address what is happening with a clear mind.

There is so much to consider in separation, like how to manage the finances, where are you going to live, what about the custody of the children? Do you need to move back in with your parents? It is not just you that is affected by divorce, it is the wider circle of relatives. Think about the in-laws that you have become close to and other couples that you have known for a long time. There are many losses that you need to resolve and come to terms with.

The concept of therapy is to teach you how to ‘pull yourself back together’ and assist you in being able to define who you really are. The breakup of a relationship forces you to ask questions like “who am I?”, “who are my friends?” and “what am I going to do with myself?”. Seeking professional help can assist you in putting yourself back at the top of the important list. Emotional Therapy will work with you to allow you to learn some self-compassion. Showing tenderness, kindness, and mindfulness to yourself is a critical step in the process of healing. It is important for you to find the confidence to re-connect with people and activities. Redefining who you are is the engine that drives the emotional healing.

Therapy will help you to feel more comfortable with your new single status after the divorce is over. As situations arise, your thoughts and beliefs will be challenged. Counselling sessions are the ideal safe place for you to share your deepest feelings and negative reactions. You will be guided by your therapist using tried and tested techniques that will allow you to move into your new phase.

Post-divorce, the grieving continues, and life still goes on. When you have lost your lifestyle as well as a partner, you need to rebuild a new life and a new future. The after effects of divorce will continue for many years ahead. Therapy will help you to gain in confidence and self-worth and support you with difficult decisions for example, in parenting your children or finding new employment, or even starting to date again.

Is it a good time to get divorced when Covid 19 is still active?

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 12:52:14 GMT

Divorce rates are expected to go sky high after lockdown is lifted. Social media jokes about a baby boom and divorce rates increasing, but the reality is that Covid 19 has either brought couples closer together or it has driven them apart. Some couples will be deciding to go their separate ways when the restrictions have been lifted. If there were cracks in the relationship before, being cooped up in isolation with someone that you are not getting on with is a reality check.

Covid 19 could be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Financial and emotional challenges are bound to take their toll on relationships. Individuals have either been furloughed, made redundant, are working from home, or completely out of work! Assets are losing value and austerity is taking a hold, the future is looking very uncertain.

In addition to this, children are unable to attend school and are relying on their parents to home school, adding more pressure to the household. They are missing their friends and playing outdoors in their local parks. Everyone is affected by this huge burden on their social lives and the subsequent strain it places on intimate relationships. Anxiety levels are at their highest as families struggle to adjust to this ‘new’ way of living.

A crisis will amplify who you are as a person and the values by which you live. Adapting to complete change is a lot to deal with, causing anxiety and stress levels to become unbearable. Couples have not experienced living in close quarters 24/7 before, the strain on their relationship has been overwhelming. It is difficult to know how to cope. Alcohol consumption is up, domestic abuse cases are on the increase, for some, this pandemic has given them the time to reflect and evaluate their lives, where they are and where they see the future.

The crisis has re-affirmed what is important in life and divorce becomes an option. The question is once you have made the decision that your marriage is over, what to do next? For some it could be a case of coming to the agreement together and drawing up how they can divorce amicably and make plans to put the children’s needs first and remain a family unit. For others, this is not an option, their fragile relationship and lack of communication won’t allow them to do this and the fallout and arguments are going to have a direct effect on the mental health of all involved. If there are children involved the damage to them from living in this unhealthy environment is going to live with them into adulthood. The timing of divorce talks may need to take place once lockdown has been lifted. For some, the only answer is to put the discussion on hold and just try to get through it as best they can.

Covid 19 has given people the time to think about how they want the future to look. Divorce is never easy, but if the long-term goal is to be happy and fulfilled to live your life to the full, it could be the key.

A Narcissistic Father

Tue, 19 May 2020 12:57:40 GMT

A Narcissistic Father

A person who has an exaggerated sense of worth. Someone who is self-absorbed, intolerant of his children’s mistakes and takes credit for their successes. He can be malicious to his children should they cross him. These men are only concerned with themselves, what they want and that they are the one person that counts. They lie easily and take advantage of others if it makes them look better. They have no empathy or care for those that they hurt.

Children of these fathers grow feeling no self-worth, no value and are largely ignored. Narcissists are experts at manipulation and use passive-aggressive methods to get what they want. They encourage their offspring into careers that will allow them to brag and take credit. Children exist purely to fulfil their fathers needs. They do not grow up into independent adults.

The narcissist believe that he is the only person that is right and will not entertain other viewpoints. If you have a different opinion you will be ridiculed.

In public the narcissist is charming and sociable and is well liked by casual friends. In private they are egotistical, devious, and cruel. If the child is a ‘golden child’, one who excels at sports or academics for example. The father will dote on his child as he is placed in a position of jealousy among others.

The narcissist will also display dominance, arrogance, a sense of superiority and seeks to control. Despite all of this he will usually have a very poor sense of himself, he can be fragile and unable to take any kind of criticism. In order to raise his self-importance, he will belittle and bully others to increase his confidence. It is this sadistic tendency that is characteristic of narcissism as opposed to other psychological conditions.

Children struggle to establish their actual and their ideal self and this creates a ‘miss belief’ perception. The child seeks excessive attention or a lack thereof. They too seek to impress others but have little interest in making genuine friendships.

Groopman and Cooper list the following as factors of the possible causes of narcissism:

• Excessive admiration that is not balanced with realistic feedback

• Excessive praise for good behaviour and excessive criticism for poor behaviour in children

• Overindulgence by parents or other family members

• Severe emotional abuse in childhood

• Unpredictable or unreliable care giving from parents

• Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self esteem

Feelings of rejection, humiliation and criticism are common in those who are very narcissistic. To protect themselves from these feelings by responding with distain and rage whenever criticised. In cases where the narcissistic personality disordered individual feels a lack of admiration, worship, he or she may also manifest the need to be feared.

There is no appropriate therapy for the narcissist as they are always right, their actions are always acceptable, and they are perfect as they are. A child of a narcissistic father frequently needs therapy to enable them to gain a sense of their own self-worth.

Surviving Covid-19

Mon, 04 May 2020 16:49:48 GMT

Surviving Covid 19

Fears about coronavirus can take an emotional toll, especially if you already suffer from anxiety. It is a scary world we are living in at present. The country has been and continues to brace itself for the unknown. We are all watching the headlines for updates on what is going to happen. For many people, the uncertainty of what is happening is difficult to cope with. We do not know what to expect and our lives have been turned upside down. It is important to understand that we are all afraid of how coronavirus is going to affect us.

Staying informed of what is happening in the world and your local community is important. So stick to trustworthy sources that deliver accurate news, like The World Health Organisation and local health authorities. Limit the amount of time you are spending watching news feeds as this can fuel anxiety. Step away from the news for a while if it is getting on top of you and only watch the news once a day.

Focus on the things that you can control such as:

• washing your hands for at least 20 seconds with soap and water. Or use a hand sanitiser that contains a minimum of 60% alcohol

• avoiding touching your face, especially your eyes, nose, and mouth

• staying at home as much as possible

• coughing and sneezing into a tissue

• avoiding gatherings of people

• avoiding non-essential shopping and travel

• keeping at least 2 metres away from others

• making sure you get enough sleep as this supports the immune system

The future of the workplace can also be a worry. How long will the children be off school and will there still be a job to go back to. Being proactive can help to alleviate some of the anxieties.

You may find it useful to:

• keep a journal and write down your feelings about the coronavirus

• take a break if you are starting to feel stressed

• focus on the things that you can control instead of those out of your control

• make a list of what you are going to do when the lockdown has been lifted

• set up WhatsApp groups with friends and family to stay connected

Isolation from others can increase anxiety levels and depression and can affect our physical health. It is vital to stay in touch with others, friends and family who can support us by staying connected. Make it a priority to keep in contact. We tend to withdraw when feeling depressed and anxious and so planning to call or Skype/Zoom with those closest to you can help to keep one to one connection going. Talking helps to maintain good mental health. This is where social media can be a huge benefit, it reminds us that we are not on our own. If others are adding to your worries, then turn off the sound or log off and return to it another time. Try not to make coronavirus take over any conversations you might have and focus on the other things that are happening in your life.

To take care of yourself by:

• being kind to yourself

• maintaining a routine and doing regular activities

• take time for yourself, do something fun, watch a DVD or try a new recipe

• getting some fresh air, do some gardening or go for a walk around your neighbourhood

• finding ways to exercise, try yoga or online live streaming

It is at times like this when our reserve is challenged. As the song goes “We’ll meet again” we continue to have hope that soon we will be able to be amongst family and friends and this will all be behind us.

STAY HOME STAY SAFE

Fear Explained

Fri, 03 Apr 2020 12:52:47 GMT

Fear is at the basis of most disfunctions, it is at the route of all phobias and it creates the anxious state of an individual’s being. At its worse, fear can imprison us to the point of agoraphobia and compulsive urges to perform rituals, obsessions with tidiness and black and white concepts are a signpost to a deep routed fear. We do such things to comfort ourselves as a way of supressing the feelings that we cannot cope with.

Emotional Therapy is there to help clients to feel the fear and address the pain of that moment when the emotions are released. The emotional therapeutic purpose is to support individuals by helping them to realise that because they are frightened it does not mean that they are ‘no good’ and that it is ok to admit to being frightened.

The author Susan Jeffers who wrote the book ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ believes that there are three levels of fear. Level one defines the events that happen to us of which we have little or no control. Examples of this could be children leaving home, accidents, war, and retirement. Level one could also be situation where action is required that may stir up personal fears such as interviews, public speaking, making friends, losing weight, or changing careers.

Level two takes it one step further and these fears touch every part of our everyday life. Fears such as rejection, failure, vulnerable, being conned, loss of image, etc. Such fears come from within us and indicate the state of mind and how we view ourselves and the world. In order to protect ourselves to avoid the fear feelings of rejection and so on, we draw on our survival tactics which we learned at a very young age during early childhood from events, people that have affected us.

We pick up fears from our carers and this can often come in very innocent form for instance, when a mother tells her child walking into the school gates to ‘be a good girl’ or don’t be silly today, don’t do this, don’t do that. As we grow into adulthood the fears, we carry with us can sometimes inhibit the way we would like our lives to be and becomes a very negative aspect in our life.

When an individual goes to an Emotional Therapist it is a cry out for that person to find their inner strength and power to enable them to deal with these negative feelings that are affecting their very soul.

When you put the words ‘I can’t handle it’ in front of every fear you then have level three. The mother calling ‘be careful’ to the child at the school gates is what makes us believe that we will not be able to cope if something happens. Most often, the anticipation of something going wrong is far greater than the reality. When things do go wrong, we more often cope better than we thought. Wasting time and energy on things that may never happen is described as fearing the fear.

If we face the fear the chances are that we will be able to handle it. Whereas if we turn our back on the fear, it can overwhelm us. Emotional Therapy supports the client through facing their fears, acknowledging that the fear is immensely powerful and accepting it. It is not the Emotional Therapists role to rationalise the clients out of their fears. The Emotional Therapy process is there to help the client to eventually support themselves by learning to sooth their inner child by treating the source, therefore eliminating the symptom.

Emotional Therapy - The Concept

Fri, 20 Mar 2020 13:52:47 GMT

Emotional Therapy is about hearing, expressing, and validating our feelings. Understanding that the head is for thinking and the body for feeling. Emotional Therapy is about feelings and how the head suppresses them, eventually the head cannot cope with our life’s unspoken feelings and something gives as our feelings erupt over the top causing us health problems and coping problems.

Understanding why we feel a certain way and where that feeling derives from helps the healing process. Naming the emotion is of vital importance in our childhood as if we know the feeling i.e. fear, excitement, we can learn to cope from an early age, and this will allow us to be more centred adults.

Emotional Therapy is a means of helping people who are in turmoil or crisis. Emotional and spiritually drained and unable to be the way they would like to be. Our emotions stop us or steer us in a way that we don’t want. Difficulties are caused by how we feel about ourselves, each other, and the world. When we are born, we have only two feelings, love and fear and as we grow, we learn from our parents how to deal with the feelings that arise and then we use the mind to deal with the feelings.

The way in which our emotions are developed as children flavours our view of ourselves and others. If our emotions are supressed and unrecognised, they become our pain and discomfort which can ultimately lead to our illnesses such as depression, eating disorders and psychological distress.

Research shows that emotional traumatising events in our lives affect our health and it is at such times that our bodies produce more white blood cells. Our mood affects the chemistry of the brain and the chemistry of the brain affects the mood we are in. In simplicity, this is well explained when you take into account that a baby is not born with depression. Sometimes drugs are taken to alter the chemistry in the brain which help to eliminate the symptoms. These drugs, however, don’t help the cause of the symptoms. Emotional Therapy helps the cause by way of healing the emotional wounds through a therapeutic process rather than a mind process using counselling techniques.

Emotional Therapy helps to promote healing the original wounds by working through feelings and re energising the spirit. Through Emotional Therapy the individual can begin to understand why something is not right by exploring the emotional route rather than the analytical route. Ultimately, the individual is seeking to achieve wholeness.

Emotional Therapy aims to develop a greater knowledge and strength so that we can cope with obstacles that are in the way, thus enriching our lives with more purpose.

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