A person who has an exaggerated sense of worth. Someone who is self-absorbed, intolerant of his children’s mistakes and takes credit for their successes. He can be malicious to his children should they cross him. These men are only concerned with themselves, what they want and that they are the one person that counts. They lie easily and take advantage of others if it makes them look better. They have no empathy or care for those that they hurt.

Children of these fathers grow feeling no self-worth, no value and are largely ignored. Narcissists are experts at manipulation and use passive-aggressive methods to get what they want. They encourage their offspring into careers that will allow them to brag and take credit. Children exist purely to fulfil their fathers needs. They do not grow up into independent adults.

The narcissist believe that he is the only person that is right and will not entertain other viewpoints. If you have a different opinion you will be ridiculed.

In public the narcissist is charming and sociable and is well liked by casual friends. In private they are egotistical, devious, and cruel. If the child is a ‘golden child’, one who excels at sports or academics for example. The father will dote on his child as he is placed in a position of jealousy among others.

The narcissist will also display dominance, arrogance, a sense of superiority and seeks to control. Despite all of this he will usually have a very poor sense of himself, he can be fragile and unable to take any kind of criticism. In order to raise his self-importance, he will belittle and bully others to increase his confidence. It is this sadistic tendency that is characteristic of narcissism as opposed to other psychological conditions.

Children struggle to establish their actual and their ideal self and this creates a ‘miss belief’ perception. The child seeks excessive attention or a lack thereof. They too seek to impress others but have little interest in making genuine friendships.

Groopman and Cooper list the following as factors of the possible causes of narcissism:

• Excessive admiration that is not balanced with realistic feedback

• Excessive praise for good behaviour and excessive criticism for poor behaviour in children

• Overindulgence by parents or other family members

• Severe emotional abuse in childhood

• Unpredictable or unreliable care giving from parents

• Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self esteem

Feelings of rejection, humiliation and criticism are common in those who are very narcissistic. To protect themselves from these feelings by responding with distain and rage whenever criticised. In cases where the narcissistic personality disordered individual feels a lack of admiration, worship, he or she may also manifest the need to be feared.

There is no appropriate therapy for the narcissist as they are always right, their actions are always acceptable, and they are perfect as they are. A child of a narcissistic father frequently needs therapy to enable them to gain a sense of their own self-worth.